For readers to connect with the point-of-view character, they need to experience what that character is feeling in the moment, essentially be inside that character’s head. But words like “she thought” or “she wondered” add automatic distance because instead of wondering along with the character, the reader is watching the character do her wondering.
This overlaps with the “show, don’t tell” point of writing. Telling filters the experience through the author. Showing takes out filter of the author middleman and allows the reader to experience the store directly with the character.
Example:
With filters: I can’t believe he forgot our date, she thought. She slammed the door furiously.
Without filters: I can’t believe he forgot our date. She slammed the door.
The italic is enough to signify this is a thought. The act of slamming the door is enough to show the reader she’s furious that he forgot their date. Telling the reader how they should be feeling distances the reader from experiencing the emotion along with our character.
The italic is enough to signify this is a thought. The act of slamming the door is enough to show the reader she’s furious that he forgot their date. Telling the reader how they should be feeling distances the reader from experiencing the emotion along with our character.
Great point Sara. I usually write in first person, which adds more intimacy also.
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